When–and why–are things so so busy right now? I barely have time to get a shower everyday before it’s back to work. It’s really embarrassing how little I have exercised, and I can’t remember the last time I cooked at home (!). This whole lifestyle is not very conducive to staying healthy. My scrubs fit, but my regular clothes…not so much. And I have such beautiful clothes!! I haven’t worn them in forever, because I haven’t had much occasion to. It’s scrubs at work, pajamas to sleep, and then wake up to scrubs at work…and so on. I haven’t felt much like myself. I look in the mirror, and I wonder at what point did I determine that a ponytail was ok everyday?? I used to love doing my nails, hair, makeup, and putting on a perfectly coordinating outfit, with the just-right shoe. I used to feel like a million bucks when I put the effort into it, so I always put the effort into it. But lately…it’s been quite BLAH. A bit too much of the seagreen scrubs and pink crocs. But running up and down stairs all day and rounding for 12 hours every day…it requires that level of comfort.
I am starting to feel like I am getting the hang of this job, FINALLY. I am starting to feel like an intern in an intern’s shoes, rather than a med student in an intern’s shoes. It’s only taken 6 months to get there. Unfortunately, I find that when I do better at work, I am away from my new husband for most of the week, I haven’t cooked anything all week, and working out is nonexistent (which has really become a problem). I only see him for an hour or two at night before it’s time to get any little sleep I can. I eat at the hospital, and bring him food from the hospital, and if I work out, it’s not nearly enough. Weekends are simply heavenly- I get to see him, be free from the worry and stress for two blissful days, and be active outside again. Not to mention, I cook as much as I can.
I have got to find ways to feel like myself again through the week. I don’t want to eat hospital food every meal of the day. Maybe the crockpot? Or maybe prepare the meals on the weekends for the week ahead? I swear, they sneak all kinds of fat and calories in the cafeteria food. That, after all, is how I gained 10 pounds in my 3rd year of medical school. The good news is, I don’t have call for the next 2 weeks, so I don’t have to eat dinner at the hospital 🙂
Speaking with other colleagues, everyone has the same stories. Didn’t gain weight until med school. Gained 20 pounds in intern year alone. Gained 50 over the 4 years in med school. There’s an obvious trend. How to beat it???
My goal for the rest of my intern year (6 more months) is to leave the intern’s shoes at the hospital, and put on my own (gorgeous) shoes when my work day is done. I may be just an intern at work, but I am still Lauren, for better or for worse, when that day is done.