Inspiration

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I woke up this morning certain that it would be a terrible day at work, because I’d had such a wonderful day at home yesterday.  It’s backward logic, but it seemed that anytime my home life was going well, work would be just terrible.  And vice versa.  It’s like I am perpetually waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I’m sure that I almost start to look for the bad things after having a good day.  Why do I do this??  Why do I pick out insignificant patterns (from two unrelated events- home vs. work life) and come assign importance (i.e., come to expect the worst)??  Perhaps it’s some ancient survival instinct from our ancestors- but I certainly would like to evolve to a more optimistic perspective.

Because the fact is, I had a great day today after a great evening last night.  It doesn’t fit the pattern I’ve come to expect, and I am so relieved!

And, seemingly insignificantly, it rained today.  Which normally would mean very little to me, except that I had forgotten how much I do really love summertime showers.  There’s something refreshing and spiritually cleansing about the rain, and today, it was just what I needed.  Maybe I need to just start over sometimes, hit “reset,” and just let the rain wash down over me & cleanse my stress, my angers, my losses, and my sorrows away.

My new thought for the day, comes from one of my favorite movies, Under the Tuscan Sun: “You have to live spherically, in many directions.  Never lose your childish enthusiasm, and good things will come your way.”  Hmmm.  Maybe if I escape to Tuscany, bought a villa & artfully restored it, cooked and ate fabulous italian food and wine, I could have tons of childish enthusiasm?!

Lol, my dad and mom have told me a thousand times, when I was little (like, super tiny baby), I would get real fussy.  They knew it was time for a change of scenery.  Maybe it’s about time I changed my scenery, because I feel the winter coming, I’m still waiting for that other shoe to drop, and it makes me fussy.  That’s the perspective I need to change!!  I’ve got 2 months before it snows!!  2 whole months!! And yet, I still crave more summer- we’ve only had 1 day over 90.  So, do I change my scenery or do I change my attitude?

Handsome & I have talked about where to move after we’re done with our residency (3 years).  It’s going to depend heavily upon whether or not we want to pursue fellowships (more specialized training after the 12 years we will have put in after residency).  And part of both of us wants to pursue fellowships, and then there is part of both of us that is so ready to just be done!!  So we don’t know when or where or what might be up for us in 3 years, but that’s a long time away.  How do I change my scenery if I’m stuck somewhere??  And how do I change my attitude to embrace the winters??

Or maybe I should try both!  Maybe we’ll change our scenery by travelling.  Maybe I’ll change my attitude by picking up a wintertime sport or learning to do something inside like…crocheting?!?  Lol! There I go again, an 85 year old stuck in a 27 year old’s body!!!

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