Recently, while allowing myself a rare hair appointment, I read an article about the many traits and habits of highly successful individuals. One of the most common traits is resilience- something that is, I believe, a learned response to adversity.
Our very nature is to throw a fit, pout, and stomp our feet when something unwanted or unexpected occurs. Case in point: check out a 3 year old. As adults, we try to coach them through the hard times, teach problem solving skills, and find a way to “fix” the situation. Adults can get stuck in this stage, too, and sometimes without realizing it. I sometimes get stuck in this stage, pouting and frustrated. Though I help my kids problem solve their issues, I realize I do not always give attention to my own issues, and place them on the back burner. This usually succeeds in reaching a boiling point with myself, without even realizing I was in hot water.
This can happen in many situations over our lives, particularly when our reality does not match our preconceived notions about the way things “should” be. Training our minds to be resilient in these situations would be helpful- but this is something I believe we have to train our minds to do. We have to first recognize that we are in hot water before it starts boiling- and ask ourselves how to problem solve at this stage.
There are times when things may be getting heated in our lives, but we are unable to see it ourselves. It may be a good to ask family and trusted friends if they see any change in you. Take some time to take your own temperature, so to speak. Take it each day, even. Take a few moments upon waking to see how you’re doing.
If you need to pout a little while before taking action/problem solving, do it- allow yourself some time to feel your emotions, and be gentle with yourself. Just don’t get stuck there.